| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | RBS | Really Bad Shape |
| CBT | Chronic Burger/Biscuit Toxicity (obesity) |
| NFS | Neuro-faecal Syndrome - Sh*t For Brains |
| OMGWTFBBQ | Oh My God, What The F*ck, Bar-be-que; A Person Mangled In A Car Crash |
| MICO | Masterly Inactivity And Catlike Observation |
| HIVI | Husband Is Village Idiot |
| OBS | Obvious Bullsh*t |
| SBA | Silver Bracelet Award - Patient Is A Prisoner Brought In Wearing Cuffs |
| SHS | Sullen, Hostile, Stupid (often An Inner City Drug/alcohol Addict) |
| WNL | (Ambulance/casualty) Within Normal Limits, But More Often Interpreted As We Never Looked |
| CKS | Cute Kid Syndrome |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| VBA | Valuable Breathing Air; I.e. What Some Patients Or Doctors Are Wasting |
| LDF | Lying Down Fit |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
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