| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | FOOBA | Found On Ortho Barely Alive (a Play On FUBAR - F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition) |
| TFO | Too F*cking Old (person Dying Of Old Age). |
| TVTP | Tried Vancomycin, Try Prayer (Vancomycin Is Anti-MRSA Drug) |
| PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
| FFFF | See 4F (Fat, Fair, Female, Forty = Gall Bladder Disease) |
| AGA | Acute Gravity Attack (fell Over) |
| DIIK | Darned If I Know |
| SHAD | Syphilitic, Hypochondriac, Alcoholic Degenerate |
| BFH | Brat From Hell (usually Accompanied By PFH - Parent(s) From Hell) |
| CTD | Circling The Drain (Close To Death) |
| YAVIS | Young, Attractive, Verbal, Intelligent, Successful. |
| AOB | Alcohol On Board |
| TWSAM | Trash Will Survive And Multiply |
| EC | Eternal Care - Intensive Care (for A Patient Who Won't Come Out Again) |
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