| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | BSS | Bilateral Samsonite Syndrome: Patient Admitted With Both Their Bags Packed In Preparation |
| GRAFOB | Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed |
| KFO | Knock The F*cker Out (patient Either Obnoxious Or Screaming In Pain) |
| DFO | (US) Done Fell Out (anything From Fainting To Cardiac Arrest) |
| ALPAC | Acute Lead Poisoning Air-conditioned - Multiple Gun Shot Wounds |
| UFO | Unidentified Frozen Object: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person In The Winter |
| ATFO | Asked To Fuck Off |
| PSS | Positive Suitcase Sign - Patients Who Are Repeated Admissions For Prolonged Periods With No Physiological Cause Of Their Problems. They Turn Up At Hospital With Packed Suitcases Ready For Admission |
| TFTB | Too Fat To Breathe |
| FAC | F*cking Awkward Client |
| SWAG | Scientific Wild Ass Guess |
| FOS | Full Of Sh*t (either Severely Constipated Or Metaphorically) |
| C/C | Cancel Christmas (dead) |
| FURB | Funny, Unusual, Rectal Blockage (people Who Use Inappropriate Objects To Insert Into The Rectum) |
| FLKBCOTP | Funny Looking Kid But Check Out The Parents |
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