| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| GDA | Gonna Die Anyway |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| DSB | Drug-Seeking Behaviour (faking Illness To Fuel Narcotic Addiction) |
| SSDD | Same Sh*t Different Day |
| NQRITH | Not Quite Right In The Head |
| DUB | Damn Ugly Baby |
| FLB | Funny Little Bumps (unexplained Skin Bumps) |
| TBC | Total Body Crunch: Multiple Injuries |
| ALP | Acute Lead Poisoning - Gunshot Wound |
| OTLP | On The Launch Pad (to Be Discharged To Home) |
| PBOO | Pine Box On Order |
| YOYO | Youre On Your Own |
| PEP | Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality - Stoned Or Medicated |
| MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
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