| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | SWW | Sick, Wet And Whiny (infant) |
| APD | Acute Prozac Deficiency (depression) |
| CATS | Cut All To Shit |
| BBB | Blood-Brain Barrier - Surgical Drapes |
| OTLP | On The Launch Pad (to Be Discharged To Home) |
| TARFU | Things Are Really F*cked Up |
| RBG | Received By God (a Person In Receipt Of A Celestial Transfer) |
| TLGP | Two Legged Guinea Pig - Patient Undergoing Experimental Or Extreme Treatments |
| TFTB | Too Fat To Breathe |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
| SHPOS | Sub-Human Piece Of Sh*t |
| LGFD | Looks Good From Door (but Not Closely Examined) |
| CAT6 | Triage Is Cat 1 (major) To Cat 5 (minor) So Cat 6 Means A Timewaster |
| GPH | Goddamns Per Hour |
| CSD | Chronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun |
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