| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | CKS | Cute Kid Syndrome |
| LGFD | Looks Good From Door (but Not Closely Examined) |
| PBAB | Pine Box At Bedside |
| FCBP | Fellow Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| BOHICA | Bend Over, Here It Comes Again |
| MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| 5-H-1-T | Polite Medical Term For Shit |
| TFTB | Too Fat To Breathe |
| MICO | Masterly Inactivity And Catlike Observation |
| HI5 | HIV Positive ("V" Being The Roman Numeral For 5) |
| HOP | House Of Pain (nursing Home) |
| SIG | Stroppy Ignorant Girl |
| EC | Eternal Care - Intensive Care (for A Patient Who Won't Come Out Again) |
| YMRASU | Your Medical Records Are Screwed Up |
| DKA | Don't/Doesn't Know Anything (but Is Explained To Relatives As Diabetic Ketoacidosis If Challenged) |
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