| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | THC | Three Hots And A Cot; Sought In A&E By The Local Homeless |
| CIA | Chrome Induced Ischaemia - Patient That Develops Inexplicable Chest Pains When Arrested And Handcuffed |
| HIBGIA | Had It Before, Got It Again |
| FABIANS | Felt Awful But I'm Alright Now Syndrome |
| HIVI | Husband Is Village Idiot |
| GRAFOB | Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed |
| KSS | Kidney Stone Squirm - A Spot Diagnosis In A&E |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| FD | F*cking Drunk |
| MTF | Metabolize To Freedom (i.e. Let The Person Sober Up, And Then They Can Leave) |
| JIC | Jesus Is Calling |
| FINE | F*cked Up , Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional |
| DIIK | Darned If I Know |
| HMF | Hysterical Mother Figure |
| TATT | Talks All The Time (also "Tired All The Time") |
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