| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | RPVU | Relative Porsche Value Unit: Surgical Index Of Potential Income From The Repair Of Patient Injuries, Usually Orthopaedic In Nature. Fractured Finger = A Windscreen Wiper; A Fractured Hip = New Tyres Etc. |
| SWW | Sick, Wet And Whiny (infant) |
| OTD&DDR | Out The Door And Down The Road. |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
| CATS | Cut All To Shit |
| GRAHOB | Grim Reaper At Head Of Bed |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| PIA | Pain In The Ass |
| CRS | Can't Remember Shit |
| EBU | Ego Boost Units - Med Students/junior Doctors That Follow A Doctor |
| BSS | Bilateral Samsonite Syndrome: Patient Admitted With Both Their Bags Packed In Preparation |
| DFO-SFJ | Done Fell Out - Screaming For Jesus |
| TWSAM | Trash Will Survive And Multiply |
| FUBAR | F*cked Up Beyond All Repair / Recognition |
| COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
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