| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | GTO | Gomer Tip Over (elderly Person With Injury From Trip Or Fall) |
| FOB | Found On Bench |
| ES | Eiffel Syndrome - From "I Fell On It" Excuse By Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| LMC | Low Marble Count (low IQ) |
| LGFTC | Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined) |
| GSP | Gown Sign Positive - A Patient Who Leaves (self-discharge) Without Official Discharge Orders |
| ATFO | Asked To Fuck Off |
| BUNDY | But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet |
| LOBNH | Lights On But Nobody Home |
| TMB | Too Many Birthdays: Person Dying Of "old Age" |
| RPVU | Relative Porsche Value Unit: Surgical Index Of Potential Income From The Repair Of Patient Injuries, Usually Orthopaedic In Nature. Fractured Finger = A Windscreen Wiper; A Fractured Hip = New Tyres Etc. |
| GPO | Good For Parts Only (won't Survive) |
| 10TH FT | 10th Floor Transfer - Dying (floor Number Is Always The Next Number On From The Highest Floor In The Hospital). |
| COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
| CFU | Complete(ly) F*ck(ed) Up |
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