| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | NWB | Negative Wallet Biopsy - (US) Patient Transferred To Cheaper Hospital Because They Have No Insurance / Funds |
| ATS | Acute Thespian Syndrome: Faking Illness; Known In US As MGM Syndrome |
| MAFAT | Mandatory Anasthaesia F**k Around Time, Precedes Any Incision |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| EDDU | Eating Drinking Defecating Urinating (but Not Much Else) |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| SNUD | Sick Nigh Unto Death |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| TLC | Tube, Lavage & Charcoal (given To Poisoning Victim) |
| GRAFOB | Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed |
| DFO-SFJ | Done Fell Out - Screaming For Jesus |
| LOLINAD | Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress |
| TTTR | Tooth To Tattoo Ratio - Visual Determination Of Basic Intelligence. A Positive Ratio (more Teeth Then Tattoos) Is Generally Better Than A Negative Ratio, Which Is Bad. |
| AE | Aggressive Euthanasia - A Procedure That Obnoxious Patients Would Benefit From. |
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