| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | LOFD | Looks Okay From Door |
| PBTB | Pine Box To Bedside; Indicates An Imminent Demise |
| FUBAR | F*cked Up Beyond All Repair / Recognition |
| ALP | Acute Lead Poisoning - Gunshot Wound |
| GOA | Gone On Arrival (police Turn Up, Ambulance Turns Up, Fire Brigade Turns Up, Patient Doesn't) |
| ALP240 | Acute Lead Poisoning, 240 Grain Injection 44 Calibre Magnum Wound |
| RUTUS | Rounding Up The Usual Suspects - Ordering A Set Of Tests For A Given Set Of Symptoms |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| ECU | Eternal Care Unit: Heaven ("gone To The ECU" = Dead) |
| 45C | Patient Is One Chromosome Short Of A Full Set (questionable IQ) |
| MU PAIN | Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims) |
| CFT | Chronic Food Toxicity I.e. Obesity |
| HSPL | High Serum Porcelain Level - Patient Is A Crock Of Sh*t |
| IFOI | "I Fell On It" - (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| HI5 | HIV Positive ("V" Being The Roman Numeral For 5) |
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