| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | NARS | Not A Rocket Scientist (low IQ) |
| OPD | Obnoxious Personality Disorder |
| P4P | Penicillin For Prick (peniecille For Penile Discharge) |
| IWB | Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers) |
| MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| IW | Insurance Whiplash - Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump |
| NQRITH | Not Quite Right In The Head |
| HOP | House Of Pain (nursing Home) |
| DSB | Drug-Seeking Behaviour (faking Illness To Fuel Narcotic Addiction) |
| GRAFOB | Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed |
| CLL | Chronic Low Life |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| SOB | Short Of Breath |
| ULPP | Unlicensed Pharmaceutical Provider (drug Dealer) |
| CLOMI | Cat Like Observation And Masterful Inactivity (patient Under Observation) |
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