| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | ATL | (Scotland) Aff (off) The Legs; Meaning Unable To Walk |
| PIAF | PIssed As A Fart (drunk) (also PAAF -Pissed As A Fart) |
| BFF | Big, Fat Faker |
| DIIK | Darned If I Know |
| AGA | Acute Gravity Attack (fell Over) |
| FFDID | Found Face Down In Ditch |
| FAC | F*cking Awkward Client |
| FOS | Full Of Sh*t (either Severely Constipated Or Metaphorically) |
| SWW | Sick, Wet And Whiny (infant) |
| CHAOS | Chronic Hurts All Over Syndrome (PTSD/Fibromyalgia, Etc.) |
| JNR | Just Not Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| TLGP | Two Legged Guinea Pig - Patient Undergoing Experimental Or Extreme Treatments |
| S2 | Sit The F**k Down And Shut The F**k Up |
| GLM | Good Looking Mum |
| CTD | Circling The Drain (Close To Death) |
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