| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | HIBGIA | Had It Before, Got It Again |
| PITA | Pain In The Ass |
| YMRASU | Your Medical Records Are Screwed Up |
| SNUD | Sick Nigh Unto Death |
| LFTWM | Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse) |
| JIC | Jesus Is Calling |
| SWAG | Scientific Wild Ass Guess |
| CF | Cockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society. |
| NWB | Negative Wallet Biopsy - (US) Patient Transferred To Cheaper Hospital Because They Have No Insurance / Funds |
| CHIBLOC | Closed Head Injury, Brief Loss Of Consciousness |
| GTG | Go To Ground - Fall Out Of Bed Or Chair |
| LPT | Low Pain Threshold |
| GOLP | Generalised Old Lady Pains |
| TWA | Third World Assassins. Slang For The Allegedly Poor Medical Care Delivered By Physicians Who Went To Medical School In Foreign Countries |
| FTF | Failed To Fly (botched Suicide) |
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