| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | JDLR | Just Doesn't Look Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| 404 | 404 Moment. On Card Rounds - When A Patient's Medical Records Cannot Be Located (from Internet Error Message: 404 Page Not Found) |
| EC | Eternal Care - Intensive Care (for A Patient Who Won't Come Out Again) |
| SAS | Sick As Sh*t |
| SOB | Sitting Out Of Bed / Sitting On Bed |
| CF | Cockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society. |
| MU PAIN | Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims) |
| CSD | Chronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun |
| TATT | Talks All The Time (also "Tired All The Time") |
| DF | Dude Factor - Survival Scoring Factor Based On Social Worth. A High Dude Factor = An Individual Of Questionable Social Worth Who Survives Near-fatal Injuries. A Low Dude Factor = Professional Person Who Slips In The Bathroom Sustaining A Fatal Injury |
| FURB | Funny, Unusual, Rectal Blockage (people Who Use Inappropriate Objects To Insert Into The Rectum) |
| LGFTC | Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined) |
| PDSD | Pre-Detention Stress Disorder - A Person Who Feigns Medical Symptoms When Police Handcuff Him |
| OBS | Obvious Bullsh*t |
| JAFFA | Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le |
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