| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | MTF | Metabolize To Freedom (i.e. Let The Person Sober Up, And Then They Can Leave) |
| ITBNTL | In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead Or Dying) |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |
| AFUBR | All Fucked Up & Beyond Repair |
| SSDD | Same Sh*t Different Day |
| PPA | Practicing Professional Alcoholic |
| PFO | Pissed (Drunk) And Fell Over |
| JDLR | Just Doesn't Look Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| DIFFC | Dropped In For Friendly Chat (i.e. No Medical Problem) |
| APD | Acute Prozac Deficiency (depression) |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| NKDA | Not Known, Didn't Ask |
| SVRI | Something Very Wrong Inside (usually Terminal) |
| TBP | Total Body Pain |
| JDFR | Just Doesn't Feel Right - Most Common Complaint Of LOL's (Little Old Ladies) And SOG's (Sick Old Guys) |
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