| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | DPS | (General Practice) Droopy Penis Syndrome: A Patient Wanting Viagra Prescription |
| CATS | Cut All To Shit |
| LPT | Low Pain Threshold |
| PP | Pumpkin Positive - A Penlight Shone Into The Patient's Mouth/ear Would Encounter A Brain So Small That The Whole Head Would Light Up |
| LOLINAD | Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress |
| MICO | Masterly Inactivity And Catlike Observation |
| PEFYC | Pre Extricated For Your Convenience (RTA Victim That Has Gone Through Windscreen) |
| SBLEO | (pronounced S-B-Leo) Suicide By Law Enforcement Officer |
| FORD | Found On Road Dead |
| LGFD | Looks Good From Door (but Not Closely Examined) |
| BFH | Brat From Hell (usually Accompanied By PFH - Parent(s) From Hell) |
| C&T WARD | Coma Ward - "cabbages And Turnips" |
| TFO | Too F*cking Old (person Dying Of Old Age). |
| JIC | Jesus Is Calling |
| UFO | Unidentified Frozen Object: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person In The Winter |
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