| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | CYA | Cover Your Ass; Unnecessary Procedure/prescription Done To Avoid Being Sued |
| WOMBAT | Waste Of Money, Brains And Time |
| WAFTAM | ("woff-tam"): Waste Of F***ing Time And Money |
| 45C | Patient Is One Chromosome Short Of A Full Set (questionable IQ) |
| DIDC | Dose Of I Don't Care - Pain-killing Meds That Make Patient Light-headed |
| MU PAIN | Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims) |
| GSP | Gown Sign Positive - A Patient Who Leaves (self-discharge) Without Official Discharge Orders |
| BMW | Bitch Moan & Whine |
| ES | Eiffel Syndrome - From "I Fell On It" Excuse By Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| TTFO | Told To F*ck Off |
| PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| BVA | Breathing Valuable Air |
| PSS | Positive Suitcase Sign - Patients Who Are Repeated Admissions For Prolonged Periods With No Physiological Cause Of Their Problems. They Turn Up At Hospital With Packed Suitcases Ready For Admission |
| SVRI | Something Very Wrong Inside (usually Terminal) |
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