| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | FDSTW | Found Dead Stayed That Way |
| TCLT | Transcranial Lead Therapy - Gunshot Wound Passing Through Head |
| FTF | Failed To Fly (botched Suicide) |
| CYA | Cover Your Ass; Unnecessary Procedure/prescription Done To Avoid Being Sued |
| CHIBLOC | Closed Head Injury, Brief Loss Of Consciousness |
| CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| TWA | Third World Assassins. Slang For The Allegedly Poor Medical Care Delivered By Physicians Who Went To Medical School In Foreign Countries |
| CRI | Cranial-Rectal Insertion Or Cranial-Rectal Inversion (head-up-ass Syndrome) |
| DFO-SFJ | Done Fell Out - Screaming For Jesus |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| BWCO | Baby Won't Come Out (needs Caesarian) |
| DPS | (Hospitals) Disappearing Penis Syndrome: The Usual Reaction Of The Male Organ In Response To Insertion Of Catheter Or Endoscope |
| SOG | Sick Old Guy (male Version Of LOL (Little Old Lady)) |
| MUH | Messed Up Heart |
| NFR | Not For Resuscitation; Used On Elderly Patients' Charts Where The DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Instruction Is Without The Knowledge Of The Patient Themselves Or Their Family |
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