| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | LOBNH | Lights On But Nobody Home |
| FCBP | Fellow Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| AE | Aggressive Euthanasia - A Procedure That Obnoxious Patients Would Benefit From. |
| MGM | MGM Syndrome (as In The Movie Maker) - Faker Putting On A Real Good Show |
| S2 | Sit The F**k Down And Shut The F**k Up |
| GTTL | Gone To The Light (died) |
| PSS | Positive Suitcase Sign - Patients Who Are Repeated Admissions For Prolonged Periods With No Physiological Cause Of Their Problems. They Turn Up At Hospital With Packed Suitcases Ready For Admission |
| PGT | Pissed (Drunk) And Got Thumped |
| 5-H-1-T | Polite Medical Term For Shit |
| UDI | Unidentified Drinking Injury |
| CRI | Cranial-Rectal Insertion Or Cranial-Rectal Inversion (head-up-ass Syndrome) |
| GPH | Goddamns Per Hour |
| LOLINAD | Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress |
| PIA | Pain In The Ass |
| OTLP | On The Launch Pad (to Be Discharged To Home) |
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