| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | PPA | Practicing Professional Alcoholic |
| SHPOS | Sub-Human Piece Of Sh*t |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| ERCP | Emergency Retrograde Clerking Of Patient, An Emergency Procedure Before The Consultant Rounds |
| WWI | Walking While Intoxicated (and Fell Over) |
| GOMER | Get Out Of My Emergency Room; Extended To Mean Elderly Patient Who Is Unable To Communicate Their Symptoms And Passed From One Department To Another |
| CRAFT | Can't Remember A Fucking Thing |
| FD | F*cking Drunk |
| GOA | Gone On Arrival (police Turn Up, Ambulance Turns Up, Fire Brigade Turns Up, Patient Doesn't) |
| TVTP | Tried Vancomycin, Try Prayer (Vancomycin Is Anti-MRSA Drug) |
| PFH | Parent(s) From Hell (custodians Of BFH - Brat From Hell) |
| FLKBCOTP | Funny Looking Kid But Check Out The Parents |
| TLGP | Two Legged Guinea Pig - Patient Undergoing Experimental Or Extreme Treatments |
| LFTWM | Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse) |
| FES | Fluttering Eye Syndrome - Patient Faking Unconsciousness |
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