| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | ERCP | Emergency Retrograde Clerking Of Patient, An Emergency Procedure Before The Consultant Rounds |
| PGT | Pissed (Drunk) And Got Thumped |
| IW | Insurance Whiplash - Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump |
| BTSOOM | Beats The Shit Out Of Me |
| TTTR | Tooth To Tattoo Ratio - Visual Determination Of Basic Intelligence. A Positive Ratio (more Teeth Then Tattoos) Is Generally Better Than A Negative Ratio, Which Is Bad. |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |
| JIC | Jesus Is Calling |
| DPS | (General Practice) Droopy Penis Syndrome: A Patient Wanting Viagra Prescription |
| SWW | Sick, Wet And Whiny (infant) |
| DRT | Dead Right There (patient Dead At Scene Of Accident) |
| FOS | Found On Street: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person |
| CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| ECU | Eternal Care Unit: Heaven ("gone To The ECU" = Dead) |
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