| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| DTMA | Don't Transfer To Me Again. |
| GORK | God Only Really Knows |
| KOKO | Keep On Keeping On. |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| JIC | Jesus Is Calling |
| RT | Room Temperature (dead) |
| ELFS | Evil Little F*ckers (irritating Children) |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| DPS | Dumb Parent Syndrome |
| CFT | Chronic Food Toxicity I.e. Obesity |
| TCLT | Transcranial Lead Therapy - Gunshot Wound Passing Through Head |
| HBD | Has Been Drinking |
| HIBGIA | Had It Before, Got It Again |
| UFO | Unidentified Frozen Object: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person In The Winter |
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