| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | TEETH | Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy |
| GOL | Gone Off Legs (see FOL) |
| GLM | Good Looking Mum |
| LDF | Lying Down Fit |
| SHAD | Syphilitic, Hypochondriac, Alcoholic Degenerate |
| TDS | Terminal Deceleration Syndrome (e.g. RTA Death, High-rise Syndrome, Jump-suicides And Parachute-failed-to-open) |
| CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| CAT6 | Triage Is Cat 1 (major) To Cat 5 (minor) So Cat 6 Means A Timewaster |
| UFO | Unidentified Frozen Object: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person In The Winter |
| FLK | Funny Looking Kid (sometimes Suggests Rural Inbreeding - See FLP) |
| GOLP | Generalised Old Lady Pains |
| CABG | Coronary Artery Bypass Graft (Cabbage) - Heart Bypass |
| GRAFOB | Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed |
| YMRASU | Your Medical Records Are Screwed Up |
| SWI | Something Wrong Inside |
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