| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | HI5 | HIV Positive ("V" Being The Roman Numeral For 5) |
| ATL | (Scotland) Aff (off) The Legs; Meaning Unable To Walk |
| IWB | Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers) |
| ALP240 | Acute Lead Poisoning, 240 Grain Injection 44 Calibre Magnum Wound |
| ULPP | Unlicensed Pharmaceutical Provider (drug Dealer) |
| DMFNFL | Dumb Mother F*cker, Not Fit To Live |
| 3H | Enema That Is "high, Hot, And A Hell Of A Lot." Reputedly Given To Patients Who Give Staff A Hard Time. |
| CHAOS | Chronic Hurts All Over Syndrome (PTSD/Fibromyalgia, Etc.) |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| GOA | Gone On Arrival (police Turn Up, Ambulance Turns Up, Fire Brigade Turns Up, Patient Doesn't) |
| PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| AWTB | Away With The Birds; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
| TEC | Transfer To Eternal Care I.e. Dead |
| FUBAR | F*cked Up Beyond All Repair / Recognition |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |
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