| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | RPVU | Relative Porsche Value Unit: Surgical Index Of Potential Income From The Repair Of Patient Injuries, Usually Orthopaedic In Nature. Fractured Finger = A Windscreen Wiper; A Fractured Hip = New Tyres Etc. |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| SOB | Sitting Out Of Bed / Sitting On Bed |
| FITH | F*cked In The Head |
| GOLP | Generalised Old Lady Pains |
| TLC | Tube, Lavage & Charcoal (given To Poisoning Victim) |
| IWB | Intercourse With Biscuits (F**king Crackers) |
| EMS | Earn Money Sleeping (joke At Expense Of Emergency Medical Service) |
| LPT | Low Pain Threshold |
| GUCCI | Genito-Urinary Clinc, Chlamydial Infection (posh Female With Sexually Transmitted Chlamydial Infection) |
| C2 | A "can't C**t"; Lazy Physician Who Passes Off Work To Colleagues And Often Whines |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| VAC | Vultures Are Circling (dying) |
| LWS | (US) Low Wallet Syndrome (No Medical Insurance Or Money) |
| AQR | Ain't Quite Right |
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