| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| JAFFA | Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le |
| NKDA | Not Known, Didn't Ask |
| NAD | Not Actually Done |
| SOB | Silly Old Bugger / B*stard / Bitch |
| LGFTC | Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined) |
| IHC | Improving His Claim - Victim Of Minor Accident, Needs No Treatment But Wants Something To Support His Insurance/legal Claim. |
| AWTF | Away With The Fairies; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
| 45C | Patient Is One Chromosome Short Of A Full Set (questionable IQ) |
| TVTP | Tried Vancomycin, Try Prayer (Vancomycin Is Anti-MRSA Drug) |
| WADHAO | Weak And Dizzy And Hurt All Over |
| YAVIS | Young, Attractive, Verbal, Intelligent, Successful. |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| CRI | Cranial-Rectal Insertion Or Cranial-Rectal Inversion (head-up-ass Syndrome) |
| PCUINIA | Please Consult Us If New (Surgical) Issues Arise - I.e. Please Never Page Me Again |
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