| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | TMI | Three Meaningless Initials (e.g. John Smith, TMI - Applied To Medics With Qualifications Rather Than Ability) |
| JAFFA | Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le |
| GRAHOB | Grim Reaper At Head Of Bed |
| ALP | Acute Lead Poisoning - Gunshot Wound |
| DFO | (US) Done Fell Out (anything From Fainting To Cardiac Arrest) |
| WITPOMS | Why Is This Patient On My Service |
| UNIVAC | Unusually Nasty Infection, Vultures Are Circling |
| ESBAM | Eat Shit And Bark At The Moon (or "not Bloody Likely" In UK English) |
| TOI | Trans-occipital Implants - Bullet Wound To The Head |
| FIDO | F*ck It, Drive On (a Waste Of Time/hoax Ambulance Call) |
| FOALS NEIGH | F*ck Off And Let Someone Not Extremely Incompetent Get Here |
| MIDI | Myocardial Infarction During Intercourse (heart Attack During Sex) |
| TEC | Transfer To Eternal Care I.e. Dead |
| TBD | Total Body Dolor I.e. Complains Of Pain Everywhere |
| FINE | F*cked Up , Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional |
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