| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | TWSAM | Trash Will Survive And Multiply |
| JAR | JAR Syndrome: Just Ain't Right (often Used When A Patient Has Multiple Issues) |
| DSP | Dumb Sh*t Profile |
| UNIVAC | Unusually Nasty Infection, Vultures Are Circling |
| POPTA | Passed Out Prior To Arrival |
| TWA | Third World Assassins. Slang For The Allegedly Poor Medical Care Delivered By Physicians Who Went To Medical School In Foreign Countries |
| DF | Dude Factor - Survival Scoring Factor Based On Social Worth. A High Dude Factor = An Individual Of Questionable Social Worth Who Survives Near-fatal Injuries. A Low Dude Factor = Professional Person Who Slips In The Bathroom Sustaining A Fatal Injury |
| JPFROG | Just Plain F***ing Ran Out Of Gas (old Age, Etc) |
| TFO | Too F*cking Old (person Dying Of Old Age). |
| CSD | Chronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun |
| BSS | Bilateral Samsonite Syndrome: Patient Admitted With Both Their Bags Packed In Preparation |
| JIC | Jesus Is Calling |
| CLOMI | Cat Like Observation And Masterful Inactivity (patient Under Observation) |
| D&D | Death And Donuts (night Shift) |
| ATD | (US) Acute Tylenol Deficiency (simple Fever Or Head Cold) |
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