| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | WOMBAT | Waste Of Money, Brains And Time |
| NARS | Not A Rocket Scientist (low IQ) |
| ALP | Acute Lead Poisoning - Gunshot Wound |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
| OTDPDS | Out The Door Pretty Damn Soon |
| DPS | Dumb Parent Syndrome |
| TLC | Tube, Lavage & Charcoal (given To Poisoning Victim) |
| GRAHOB | Grim Reaper At Head Of Bed |
| GPH | Goddamns Per Hour |
| TVTP | Tried Vancomycin, Try Prayer (Vancomycin Is Anti-MRSA Drug) |
| VTMK | Voice To Melt Knickers (the Voice Deliberately Cultivated By Some Doctors) |
| WNL | (Ambulance/casualty) Within Normal Limits, But More Often Interpreted As We Never Looked |
| FABIANS | Felt Awful But I'm Alright Now Syndrome |
| FOOSH | Fall Onto Outstretched Hand (as Cause Of Broken Wrist/arm) |
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