| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| LWS | (US) Low Wallet Syndrome (No Medical Insurance Or Money) |
| CRAFT | Can't Remember A Fucking Thing |
| TCLT | Transcranial Lead Therapy - Gunshot Wound Passing Through Head |
| POPTA | Passed Out Prior To Arrival |
| OTLP | On The Launch Pad (to Be Discharged To Home) |
| PDSD | Pre-Detention Stress Disorder - A Person Who Feigns Medical Symptoms When Police Handcuff Him |
| AGA | Acute Gravity Attack (fell Over) |
| FOOBA | Found On Ortho Barely Alive (a Play On FUBAR - F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition) |
| PBOO | Pine Box On Order |
| LRO | Luck Ran Out (cheated Death Before, But Not This Time) |
| TOI | Trans-occipital Implants - Bullet Wound To The Head |
| 3H | Enema That Is "high, Hot, And A Hell Of A Lot." Reputedly Given To Patients Who Give Staff A Hard Time. |
| JPFROG | Just Plain F***ing Ran Out Of Gas (old Age, Etc) |
| GUCCI | Genito-Urinary Clinc, Chlamydial Infection (posh Female With Sexually Transmitted Chlamydial Infection) |
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