| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | PP | Plank Positive - Stupid, As In "thick As 2 Short Planks" |
| PDSD | Pre-Detention Stress Disorder - A Person Who Feigns Medical Symptoms When Police Handcuff Him |
| OBE | Open Both Ends (known In UK As DNV - Diarrhoea And Vomiting) |
| GTG | Go To Ground - Fall Out Of Bed Or Chair |
| BFH | Brat From Hell (usually Accompanied By PFH - Parent(s) From Hell) |
| MTF | Metabolize To Freedom (i.e. Let The Person Sober Up, And Then They Can Leave) |
| RTTBBB | Rat-a-Tat-Tat With A Baseball Bat (hit With Blunt Instrument). |
| AHF | Acute Hissy Fit |
| UGLI | Ugly: A Patient (usually A Child) Who Looks A Bit Odd But Has Nothing Wrong With Them |
| JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| PAAF | Pissed As A Fart (also PIAF -PIssed As A Fart) |
| FODE | Falling On Deaf Ears |
| LGFTC | Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined) |
| WAFTAM | ("woff-tam"): Waste Of F***ing Time And Money |
| PWFS | Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - An Ailment Which Presents At GP Surgeries On Monday Mornings |
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