| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | CTS | Crazier Than Shit |
 | NETMA | Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything (generally A Doctor's Gripe On A Patient's Chart) |
 | BOHICA | Bend Over, Here It Comes Again |
 | SOG | Sick Old Guy (male Version Of LOL (Little Old Lady)) |
 | QID | Queen In Distress (hissy Fit) |
 | NLPR | No Longer Playing Records (dying) |
 | DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
 | DIDC | Dose Of I Don't Care - Pain-killing Meds That Make Patient Light-headed |
 | LDF | Lying Down Fit |
 | GRAFOB | Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed |
 | TOG | Tears Of Gratitude |
 | VD | Veak And Dizzy; Older Person Feeling Vaguely Unwell And Presents At ER At 2am Complaining Of Feeling "weak And Dizzy" |
 | FOOBA | Found On Ortho Barely Alive (a Play On FUBAR - F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition) |
 | SYB | Save Your Breath (for Patients Who Don't Take Advice) |
 | ALP | Acute Lead Poisoning - Gunshot Wound |