| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | GUCCI | Genito-Urinary Clinc, Chlamydial Infection (posh Female With Sexually Transmitted Chlamydial Infection) |
| FD | F*cking Drunk |
| APRS | (US) Acute Puerto Rican Syndrome (bouts Of Screaming And Yelling) |
| RPVU | Relative Porsche Value Unit: Surgical Index Of Potential Income From The Repair Of Patient Injuries, Usually Orthopaedic In Nature. Fractured Finger = A Windscreen Wiper; A Fractured Hip = New Tyres Etc. |
| DKA | Don't/Doesn't Know Anything (but Is Explained To Relatives As Diabetic Ketoacidosis If Challenged) |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| TLC | Tube, Lavage & Charcoal (given To Poisoning Victim) |
| VIP | Very Intoxicated Person |
| IFOI | "I Fell On It" - (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| CLL | Chronic Low Life |
| JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| NQRITH | Not Quite Right In The Head |
| JNR | Just Not Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| CHAOS | Chronic Hurts All Over Syndrome (PTSD/Fibromyalgia, Etc.) |
| CSD | Chronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun |
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