| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | DKA | Don't/Doesn't Know Anything (but Is Explained To Relatives As Diabetic Ketoacidosis If Challenged) |
| TWA | Third World Assassins. Slang For The Allegedly Poor Medical Care Delivered By Physicians Who Went To Medical School In Foreign Countries |
| IP | Insurance Pain - Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump |
| ETOH | Extremely Trashed Or Hammered (2 Derivations Given: Corruption Of "Etho" [ethanol Addict] Or From "EtOH" [chemistry Abbreviation For Ethanol]) |
| ESBAM | Eat Shit And Bark At The Moon (or "not Bloody Likely" In UK English) |
| KOKO | Keep On Keeping On. |
| EMS | Earn Money Sleeping (joke At Expense Of Emergency Medical Service) |
| FABIANS | Felt Awful But I'm Alright Now Syndrome |
| ES | Eiffel Syndrome - From "I Fell On It" Excuse By Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| TSS | Toxic Sock Syndrome (often Related To The Homeless) |
| GROLIES | (UK) Guardian Reader Of Low Intellect In Ethnic Skirt |
| PPA | Practicing Professional Alcoholic |
| TBP | Total Body Pain |
| PAFO | Pissed [Drunk] And Fell Over |
| TTFO | Told To F*ck Off |
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