| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | 3H | Enema That Is "high, Hot, And A Hell Of A Lot." Reputedly Given To Patients Who Give Staff A Hard Time. |
| DTS | Danger To Shipping (in Reference To Particularly Large Patients) |
| TCS | Toxic Confusional State - Confused, Usually Elderly, Person Whose Problem Is Due To Constipation (toxic Build Up In Body) |
| TFTB | Too Fat To Breathe |
| BBCS | Bumps, Bruises, Cuts And Scrapes (i.e. No Serious Injuries) |
| LOFD | Looks Okay From Door |
| FCBP | Fellow Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| AWTB | Away With The Birds; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
| DPS | Dumb Parent Syndrome |
| FDSTW | Found Dead Stayed That Way |
| TMB | Too Many Birthdays: Person Dying Of "old Age" |
| JAFFA | Just Another Fat, F***ing Assh*le |
| COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
| PBTB | Pine Box To Bedside; Indicates An Imminent Demise |
| NPS | New Parent Syndrome |
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