| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | GOK | God Only Knows |
| P4P | Penicillin For Prick (peniecille For Penile Discharge) |
| FLB | Funny Little Bumps (unexplained Skin Bumps) |
| TTR | (US) Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio (Dirtbag Ratio) |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| DMFNFL | Dumb Mother F*cker, Not Fit To Live |
| HMF | Hysterical Mother Figure |
| FD | F*cking Drunk |
| FFDIG | Found Face Down In Gutter |
| SWAG | Scientific Wild Ass Guess |
| SSDD | Same Sh*t Different Day |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| PNR | Person Needed A Ride I.e. Minor Ailment But Called Ambulance Instead Of Taxi |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| AWTF | Away With The Fairies; A Patient Who Is Totally Confused |
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