| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | FLKBCOTP | Funny Looking Kid But Check Out The Parents |
| SHPOS | Sub-Human Piece Of Sh*t |
| GRAHOB | Grim Reaper At Head Of Bed |
| DIDR | Dose Of I Don't Remember - Pain-killing Meds That Leave Patient Without Memory Of Painful Procedure |
| RLI | Rapid Lead Infusion - Obnoxious Patient Ought To Be Shot |
| CTF | Cletus The Fetus (US). A 23 Week, Or Earlier, Births That Parents Expect To Survive Against All Odds |
| 5-H-1-T | Polite Medical Term For Shit |
| SWI | Something Wrong Inside |
| TCLT | Transcranial Lead Therapy - Gunshot Wound Passing Through Head |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| BUNDY | But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet |
| HOPEFUL | Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life (i.e. OAPs Are Not Priority For Most Hospitals) |
| MILF | Mother I'd Like To F**k. US Version Of GLM Who Is Also PHAT |
| VTMK | Voice To Melt Knickers (the Voice Deliberately Cultivated By Some Doctors) |
| WITPOMS | Why Is This Patient On My Service |
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