| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | VBT | Very Bad Thing |
| TTJ | Transfer To Jesus |
| SVRI | Something Very Wrong Inside (usually Terminal) |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| BBCS | Bumps, Bruises, Cuts And Scrapes (i.e. No Serious Injuries) |
| LFTWM | Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse) |
| SOG | Sick Old Guy (male Version Of LOL (Little Old Lady)) |
| ATL | (Scotland) Aff (off) The Legs; Meaning Unable To Walk |
| CTD | Circling The Drain (Close To Death) |
| FTF | Failed To Fly (botched Suicide) |
| DF | Dude Factor - Survival Scoring Factor Based On Social Worth. A High Dude Factor = An Individual Of Questionable Social Worth Who Survives Near-fatal Injuries. A Low Dude Factor = Professional Person Who Slips In The Bathroom Sustaining A Fatal Injury |
| PCUINIA | Please Consult Us If New (Surgical) Issues Arise - I.e. Please Never Page Me Again |
| FURB | Funny, Unusual, Rectal Blockage (people Who Use Inappropriate Objects To Insert Into The Rectum) |
| IFOI | "I Fell On It" - (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| ALP185 | Acute Lead Poisoning, 185 Grain Injection - 9mm Gunshot Wound |
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