| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | SOG | Sick Old Guy (male Version Of LOL (Little Old Lady)) |
| LGFTC | Looks Good From The Corridor (but Not Closely Examined) |
| RHS | Rocking Horse Stool - Even Rarer Than Hen's Teeth |
| TEC | Transfer To Eternal Care I.e. Dead |
| DPS | (Hospitals) Disappearing Penis Syndrome: The Usual Reaction Of The Male Organ In Response To Insertion Of Catheter Or Endoscope |
| LT | Lantern Test - Shine A Torch In The Subject's Mouth And The Eyes Light Up (no Brain) |
| NLPR | No Longer Playing Records (dying) |
| CFD | Call For Dirt (severely Ill Or Dying) |
| PBOO | Pine Box On Order |
| SBLEO | (pronounced S-B-Leo) Suicide By Law Enforcement Officer |
| THC | Three Hots And A Cot; Sought In A&E By The Local Homeless |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| HLCS | Happy Little Campers - Children In Oxygen Tents |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |
| DILLIGAF | Do I Look Like I Give A F*ck |
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