| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | JPS | Just Plain Stupid (self Induced Injury Involving Lack Of Common Sense) |
| GOL | Gone Off Legs (see FOL) |
| CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| SOB | Silly Old Bugger / B*stard / Bitch |
| TBP | Total Body Pain |
| FLK | Funny Looking Kid (sometimes Suggests Rural Inbreeding - See FLP) |
| JDLR | Just Doesn't Look Right (something Is Wrong, But No Diagnosis Has Been Made Yet) |
| VAC | Vultures Are Circling (dying) |
| MAFAT | Mandatory Anasthaesia F**k Around Time, Precedes Any Incision |
| NGMI | Not Going To Make It |
| CBT | Chronic Burger/Biscuit Toxicity (obesity) |
| PP | Pumpkin Positive - A Penlight Shone Into The Patient's Mouth/ear Would Encounter A Brain So Small That The Whole Head Would Light Up |
| LPT | Low Pain Threshold |
| BMW | Bitch Moan & Whine |
| DTMA | Don't Transfer To Me Again. |
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