| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | CFT | Chronic Food Toxicity I.e. Obesity |
| FFDIG | Found Face Down In Gutter |
| SOG | Sick Old Guy (male Version Of LOL (Little Old Lady)) |
| CFD | Call For Dirt (severely Ill Or Dying) |
| FD | F*cking Drunk |
| CFU | Complete(ly) F*ck(ed) Up |
| LFTWM | Looking For 3 Wise Men (applied To Young Pregnant Females Who Deny Having Had Intercourse) |
| 3H | Enema That Is "high, Hot, And A Hell Of A Lot." Reputedly Given To Patients Who Give Staff A Hard Time. |
| IHC | Improving His Claim - Victim Of Minor Accident, Needs No Treatment But Wants Something To Support His Insurance/legal Claim. |
| PCUINIA | Please Consult Us If New (Surgical) Issues Arise - I.e. Please Never Page Me Again |
| DUB | Damn Ugly Baby |
| AGA | Acute Gravity Attack (fell Over) |
| MU PAIN | Made Up Pain (especially For Sick Notes And Insurance Claims) |
| ATL | (Scotland) Aff (off) The Legs; Meaning Unable To Walk |
| CHAOS | Chronic Hurts All Over Syndrome (PTSD/Fibromyalgia, Etc.) |
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