| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
| SIO | Sleeping It Off |
| CTS | Cold-tea Sign / Cold Tea Syndrome - Refers To The Several Cups Of Cold Tea On The Bedside Cabinet Beside A Dead Geriatric (i.e. No-one Noticed The Patient Had Died) |
| ITBNTL | In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead Or Dying) |
| OAP | Over-Anxious Patient |
| MUH | Messed Up Heart |
| MIDI | Myocardial Infarction During Intercourse (heart Attack During Sex) |
| AGMI | Ain't Gonna Make It (won't Survive) |
| SBLEO | (pronounced S-B-Leo) Suicide By Law Enforcement Officer |
| VIP | Very Intoxicated Person |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| OFIGATOOS | One Foot In The Grave And The Other One Slipping |
| D&D | Divorced And Desperate (middle Aged Female Who Visits Doctor Weekly Just For Male Attention) |
| AOB | Alcohol On Board |
| FAC | F*cking Awkward Client |
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