| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | PORG | Person Of Restricted / Retarded Growth (dwarf / Midget) |
| FOS | Found On Street: Unidentified Dead Homeless Person |
| IW | Insurance Whiplash - Neck Pain Secondary To A Minor Car Bump |
| ALPAC | Acute Lead Poisoning Air-conditioned - Multiple Gun Shot Wounds |
| MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| TSL | To Stupid To Live |
| HOPEFUL | Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life (i.e. OAPs Are Not Priority For Most Hospitals) |
| CF | Cockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society. |
| DFO-SFJ | Done Fell Out - Screaming For Jesus |
| DILLIGAF | Do I Look Like I Give A F*ck |
| DILF | Doctor I'd Like To F*** (Fornicate With): Nursing Slang For Good-looking Doctor |
| AFUBR | All Fucked Up & Beyond Repair |
| FITH | F*cked In The Head |
| TFTB | Too Fat To Breathe |
| ES | Eiffel Syndrome - From "I Fell On It" Excuse By Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
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