| Abbreviations | Meaning |
 | MUH | Messed Up Heart |
| TEETH | Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy |
| VOMIT | Victim Of Modern Imaging Technology (i.e. Try Treating The Patient, Not The Report From Radiology; Particularly Referring To Invasive Procedures For False Positives. |
| 5-H-1-T | Polite Medical Term For Shit |
| LGFD | Looks Good From Door (but Not Closely Examined) |
| 4F | Fair, Fat, Female And Forty OR Fat, Forty-ish, Flatulent Female (both Mean Abdominal Pain Patient Who Is Candidate For Gall Bladder Disease) |
| MCBP | Member Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| FIDO | F*ck It, Drive On (a Waste Of Time/hoax Ambulance Call) |
| LOL | Little Old Lady |
| FURB | Funny, Unusual, Rectal Blockage (people Who Use Inappropriate Objects To Insert Into The Rectum) |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| PITA | Pain In The Ass |
| NFR | Not For Resuscitation; Used On Elderly Patients' Charts Where The DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Instruction Is Without The Knowledge Of The Patient Themselves Or Their Family |
| DPS | Dumb Parent Syndrome |
| ES | Eiffel Syndrome - From "I Fell On It" Excuse By Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
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